August 24, 2019
Just in case you miss any breaking news coming from the President of the Dividing United States, have no fear for now you can hear for yourself whats going on in his mind or coming out of his mouth at any time. These brand new devices. which are remarkable, are all directly connected to his brain via 10G wireless technology. These new devices, which are amazing, are conveniently located in a multitude of public private screening room. They are installed, for the very first time in history, in spaces replicated to resemble throne rooms where the president generates his most noteworthy ideas and opinions.
Don’t believe me? Good, as I am a certified fabricator of alternate truths. I challenge you, no I dare you try it out for yourself! Compare anything you hear to anything posted via Trump on twitter. (Note: Clinical lab testing results have shown that only 36% of Americans will actually understand what is being said. Of the 36%, 90% of them are uneducated white males under the influence of a mind altering substance. The remaining 10% were also under the influence and had mental issues and believed they could understand 100% of what is being said.)
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!
The use of these are free of charge (except for the damage that is cause to your intellectual brains cells as you listen)
There are no tariffs applied (except for the mind numbing feeling you get as you try to understand what is being said)
Go out and try one of these at you next opportunity! Know you are using a product 100% MADE IN THE U.S.A. (not including parts or assembly)
REPETITIVE AND CONTINUED LISTENING TO THE WORDS AND RHETORIC COMING FROM THIS DEVICE MAY INDUCE THE DESIRE TO TAKE UP ARMS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND CAUSE GRIEVOUS DAMAGE TO INNOCENT INDIVIDUALS OR A STRONG URGE TO BLOW ONES OWN BRAINS OUT!!!